Mall Mishaps
by Pancake3298
Summary: What happens when our favorite racers are dragged into a Victoria's Secret? Things will never go smoothly. Humanized one shot. Sort of sequel to Start Your Shopping Carts. Laughter & smiles guaranteed! L/S F/OC C/OC.


Alright, remember Start Your Shopping Carts? If you don't, go and read it. If you do, please continue reading here. I have to say, it was really fun doing Emilesco and SalQueen fluff scenes among a (sort of) comedic story... I, personally, love how it tied together, with the boys seeing these distracting images and girls, but yet they remain loyal to THEIR girls, and it equaled to fluff! :3 I know it isn't as funny and crazy as the Walmart one, but hey, it's got different things. I didn't-a write out Francesco's accent on-a this, so just assume it's-a there. Grazie!

Copyright:

Lightning, Sally, and Francesco belong to Pixar Inc. (c)

Emilia Turbo (c) is MINE.

Maria (c) belongs to Mere.

Victoria's Secret (c) and PINK Brand TM.

Hehe it's official.

* * *

**Mall Mishaps**

Sally Carrera sighs in frustration as she looks through her suitcase again. She still can't believe that the only bra she packed is the one she's wearing. How'd she forget? It's a week long stay at a hotel here in L.A. for another one of Lightning's season races.

"Something wrong, babe?" her boyfriend, Lightning McQueen asks as he enters the bedroom.

"Well, erm, you see, I only packed myself one bra, and we're staying the week. It's not strapless, so now I basically can't wear any of the shirts I have." She knows he's not going to understand, him being of the male specimen.

"So you need to go out and buy one. No problem."

"No, that's going to have to be a 'we'. Remember? I can't drive here in California. I only have an Arizona license. While you, you're Lightning McQueen, you get the all-access pass!"

"Ah, right, you have a point. Come on."

As Sally grabs her coat and phone, she remembers a conversation from yesterday. "Light, I'm going to call Maria, and see if she wants to come, because she was talking about getting some things at the mall yesterday..."

"Okay, I'll be in the Caddy." Cadillac Racing, one of the sponsors, agreed to let each of the racers borrow a shiny new black 2013 Cadillac XTS, which seats five people. In reality, it can cram up to six, with it being a Cadillac and all.

Twenty minutes later, Lightning starts the engine as Sally, Chick Hicks, and Chick's fiancee, Maria Carrera (Sally's twin sister) climb into the sedan. They all exchange hellos.

"Oh my gosh, Stickers! I just remembered! Doesn't Emily and Francesco live around here?"

Lightning groans. She HAS to bring him up. "Er, yeaaaahhhhhh... Why?"

"Because she just texted me! I'm going to call her."

"Um, o- okay." He says as he looks wearily at the rear view mirror.

Another 30 minutes later, Lightning is driving through another one of the many expensive neighborhoods of LA before stopping quietly in front of the gate of Francesco Bernoulli's house.

Francesco and his fiancee, Emily Turbo, come out in three minutes, and the Italians exchange their hellos with everyone while barely squeezing into the car. The sedan is quickly filled with chatter all through the drive to the mega mall; teasing and insulting are common among the men, while laughs and comparisons are coming from the women. All in all, everyone is having a good time.

Everyone steps out of the car at their destination and Lightning locks the doors. As they proceed through the mall like teenagers, one person stopping here, and another stopping at that store, Sally spies the Victoria's Secret lingerie store and remembers the one sole reason she, herself, came here.

"Oh, there it is! Great." she announces, interrupting some conversations.

"Ooh, Victoria's Secret! I could pick up some stuff. Chick, come on, and Emily, too!" Maria exclaims as she tugs their sleeves.

"That's actually perfect, Sally." Says Emily in approval.

"Um, hey hon?" Lightning tries to shout to Sally, but she can't hear from her conversation and the noises of the mall around her. Lightning looks at Chick and Francesco.

"Emi! Che cosa devo fare ora?" Francesco shouts in a booming voice.

Emily, still looking at Sally speaking to her, just motions with her hand to come.

Francesco shrugs at the two other racers. Chick is the first to roll his eyes and begin to follow the girls. Francesco follows Chick, and Lightning does so too, having no idea where else to go.

As Lightning approaches the huge pink shop, he can't help but gawk at the huge poster of a tan woman posed seductively in a revealing bra. Remembering his love for Sally, he looks down and sees Chick and Francesco peering around. They can't help it, it's part of being a male.

Them being the only men in the store except an employee, they get unusual looks from the women shopping. So they try to keep their eyes to the shiny floor instead of the huge displays. Their faces are as red in blush as Lightning's race car. Finally, Chick sees the girls in a section across the store and heads in that direction. Maria, holding a pile of undergarments, spots him and hands the entire pile to him.

"Think you can find a basket or something to put these in please?"

"Oh, um, yeah sure." He says with a shaky voice.

Emily looks through the organized drawers and peeks through her hair at Francesco. There he is, red faced, but yet trying to stay suave, just like he does in any situation. She knows what this must be like for him, but she completely trusts him. She smiles to herself in satisfaction as girls flirtatiously wave at him and he nearly ignores them, looking at the floor again. She heads over to him, plants a kiss on his cheek, and intertwines their fingers. He flashes a crooked smile at her and her heart skips a beat.

"Just going to go try these on..." she says, gesturing to her bag.

He nods and kisses her forehead softly, then silently watches her walk toward the dressing room. _How does she make me feel this way? _He thinks.

Sally and Maria are already in the dressing rooms, along with Lightning and Chick waiting outside the doors. Emily sneaks into one before beckoning Francesco.

"Babe, can you get me another one that's one size bigger?" Emi asks.

Francesco, having no idea about bra sizes and shapes and styles, takes it anyway, scratching his head. He'll ask. "Okay."

As he exits the dressing room, Chick is sitting on a bench, and he saw what happened. "So, Franny Boy, you and your girl kinda clingy? I would say you're lucky, but I got one of my own."

Francesco feels the fire of rage slide across his skin. "_Listen here,_" he hisses quietly but ever so fiercely, "don't _ever_ call me that, and don't you _ever_ talk about her like that. Do you hear me talking trash about you? I'm sorry if your life is so gutwrenchingly filthy that you go around envious of other peope's fiancées, and I actually take pity on you for the things you have just said, when you have a beautiful girl to yourself. You're also lucky that I'm not yelling at you or slapping you, but I am being a _gentleman, _something you should look into. So good day, you dirty rat."

Chick stares at the wall, pretending he didn't get told.

Francesco gets weird looks again as he's carrying a black, lacy bra now. Still a bit infuriated, and getting more and more frustrated by the second, he asks an employee sorting drawers for help.

"Ciao. I need this in a size larger."

The black haired man observes him for a second before smiling. "Alright, hon, lemme see what I can do. Follow me!" he says in an extremely squeaky, girly voice. He swings his hips and skips to another part of the store.

Francesco cringes at his movements, and regrets asking him in the first place. He knows this man's intentions, and this makes him feel sick to the stomach.

"Alrighty! One size larger than this! Hmmmmm! Oh here! Perfect! OMG darling, this bra is awesome! You have good taste." He smiles hugely. Definitely overly-helpful in every way.

"Thanks." Francesco squeaks, wanting to avoid this 'man'.

"You are SO welcome! My name is Guy, BTW." _More like, replace the u in his name with an a... _Francesco snickers.

Guy bats his eyelashes and smiles even bigger.

Scarred for life, Francesco quickly walks back to the dressing room.

...

"Baby, which one do you like? Ooh, freesia! What do you think?" Maria squirts it on her wrist and smells it herself, then puts her arm up towards Chick.

"Yeah I don't know. Whatever."

"Do you like it?"

"No."

"Okay..." she picks another one up, "Honeysuckle. Let's try this."

She attempts to squirt it on her wrist again, but it wouldn't push down. Frustrated, she shakes it, and pushes it down harder. "Gosh, this thing is _jammed_..."

She squeezes it down hard with her thumb, but it slips and points upward, directly into Chick's face.

"OHHH!" He exclaims with surprise and his face scrunches up from pain in his eyes. He squeezes his eyes halfway and cups his hands to his face, moaning and stumbling all over.

"Oh my god, honey!"

"AAAAH. Ow! Owwwwwww." his red eyes tear up and he falls to the ground.

"Chick!"

Meanwhile, over at the register, Guy notices the commotion near the perfume, and hops over the counter to help them. He spots Chick gripping his face.

"Like, what happened?" He asks Maria.

"I accidentally sprayed some in his face!"

"BRB!" Guy dashes away to the back of the store and disappears through a door. He comes back a few seconds later with a cup of water and splashes it on Chick's face.

"Aaaaooohhhhhh...!" He groans as the cool water hits his stinging eyes.

"Oh god, Chick! Are you fine sweetie?" Maria pleads.

"Hey! Chick! Are you okay? Can ya see me?"

Chick tries to look up at them, but his eyes are _extremely_ swollen and red. Maria gasps, but then tries to hold back a laugh at his helpless expression.

"Help... me..." He groans.

...

"Your total is ninety five dollars and eighty six cents." the cashier proclaims.

Lightning laughs at the numbers of the price. How ironic, his and Chick's racing numbers. "Sally dear, I thought we were just coming here for a bra." He hands the employee the money.

Sally shrugs, unsure of what to say, and smiles innocently.

"Thanks for shopping at Victoria's Secret. And here's your things! Come again!" She hands Sally pink striped bags with a smile.

"Thank you." She says, taking them, then turns with Lightning to head out to the car.

"And thank _you_." She pokes Lightning's nose gently.

He smiles. "You're so pretty."

She blushes. "Oh come on. Stop."

"No really, I love you. You're more gorgeous to me than any of those undergarment models." He whispers softly in her ear.

"You're kidding."

"Why don't you ever believe me?" He sighs.

"You are a kidder, Mr. McQueen."

"Well I mean it. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"It's not that I don't believe you, it's that sometimes I don't want to take compliments. _Especially_ after shopping for lingerie. Makes me think you're seducing me in some way."

"Maybe I am." He growls quietly with a devilish look.

"What was that?" She gives him 'the eye' that says 'public romance is rude'.

"I mean, um, you take compliments from Francesco."

"Still couldn't hear you."

"You're the only person who makes me feel stupid sometimes."

"So you consider yourself real smart?" Sally declares sarcastically.

"My case is closed. Where _is_ everyone?" He turns his head to look around.

"I'm not sure, but we'll wai- Stickers!" She's interrupted by him knocking over a whole stand of panties with a loud bang.

"OHH!" Lightning shouts as he feels the corner of the stand cut through his jeans to his skin.

"Baby! Are you okay?" Sally immediately rushes to his side. She sees his pants are completely ripped in the front and back. "How did THAT happen?"

"I'm... I'm fine." he moans.

Employees rush to the scene quickly, including Guy. They get out a first aid kit and start treating his bleeding wound on his lower thigh, then quickly wrap it up in a bandage.

"His pants... Are completely torn." an employee notices.

Guy dashes away and returns with a purple pair of PINK Brand sweatpants. "Here you go!"

Lightning looks up at the hideous clothing. "Ohhhh, no. Nope. Sally, Aeropostale is across the way. Can't you go get me some pants there?"

"Light, just put the sweats on right now, people are looking..."

"There's no alternative? Sally..."

She quickly takes the sweatpants from Guy and puts them on him, trying to avoid more attention.

"No!" he protests.

"Just... Come on. You didn't even say thank you to these people."

"Thanks. Now can someone help me up?"

"What happened?" Emily exclaims as she and Francesco walk towards Lightning and Sally.

"Lightning took a spill and ripped his pants..."

"Oh. Child side actin up again, Light?" She says with a smile and a small laugh. Sally and Francesco chuckle.

"Sally, please, I don't want to wear these PLEASE go buy me some new jeans!"

"What happened?" Maria says in shock.

"What happened to _you_?" Francesco points at Chick.

"Yeah Chick, what's wrong with your face!" Lightning exclaims.

"I accidentally sprayed perfume in his eyes, and now he can't see out of both of them, they're so swollen."

"Wow." Emily coughs to hide her laugh.

"And I tripped. Can someone help me up please?"

"Alright." Sally and Guy pull him up by the arms and Lightning hops on one foot, groaning.

"Nice pants." Francesco snickers. Emily elbows him in the ribs.

"C'mon Light, we'll be at the hotel any minute if we just hurry, then you can rest."

He sighs. "Okay. Let's go. But quickly. Hey, how much for the pants..?"

"Oh, hon, they're on the house!" Guy says with a smile.

"Um, thanks. Bye."

"Ya sure anytime! Like come again! Shopping at Victoria's Secret will ALWAYS be an adventure!"

The six friends look at each other awkwardly before rushing out of the store. They would never make that mistake again.

* * *

Now, I'm sorry for the slow updating on Repercussions... I'm having some writing trouble, and I'm really behind, so it's on mini hiatus FOR NOW. Until my fat fingers will get motivated into typing SalQueen, because all they want to do is my Emilesco, which flows easier for me. I'm sorry. But I'm trying best I can!

The cover is supposed to be Lightning trying to escape without being seen with the hideous purple sweatpants on. xD

Again, just another crazy one-shot I had in mind... Not my best, but please tell me what you think and what your favorite part was! :) TTFN...

Translations:

Che coda deco fare ora?: What do I do now?


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